Don’t Waste the Wait


I’m a dreamer. I’m a doer. I can’t stand stagnation.

I need my plate full, my to do list long and my next challenge in sight.  I want to press on at full speed and I find myself in eager anticipation for the next adventure. And I HATE waiting.

I’ve always been this way. I was ready to go to college, get a degree, find a husband and birth some babies before I even started kindergarten. My head has had visions of nexts for as long as I can remember.

Then God called me into foster care. I kept on dreaming but I started learning a whole new level of standing still.

First, I waited for God to move on my husband’s heart. That’s enough to kill a woman.

Then we waited for weeks as we endured thirty hours of educational classes that qualified us to take the next step.

And of course there were the home visits, home inspections, water tests, background checks, character reference forms to fill out, financial documents to attain, physicals to complete, and then a radon mitigation. Weeks of people in and out of our house (and UNDER our house) to make sure we wouldn’t all die of toxic radon fumes.  That was painful to the pocketbook and took FOR. EVER.

Then we waited for paperwork to be reviewed and signed and sent. blah blah blah blah blah.

Those long days plunged me into purgatory as we anticipated a call at any moment to let us know our license was approved and we could take a placement. No one seemed to be in a hurry except us-except me.

On August 30, 2011, we got a call that turned waiting into working. YES! My time to shine. I thought the wait was over. But I just found another long list of holdups.

We waited for the first meeting with our little girl’s birth mom.

Then we waited for each court date, judicial review, home visit, and decisions by case workers and judges. We waited for physical therapy and occupational therapy spots to secure and evaluations to be completed. There were counseling appointments and referrals for other random things I never knew kids needed.

The wait wasn’t gone, it had simply refashioned its form.

I’m stuck in the doldrums of this journey again.

The wait is the same now but so very different. While I don’t know what I’m waiting on, I have grown wiser in the how.  I know that Jesus is walking right here. He’s waiting too. He’s waiting for HOPE to burst forth and be fully realized. He’s waiting for safety and permanency and life to be poured into desperate families.

This risky road of life is full of waiting, and I don’t want to waste it.

My sweet foster mama friend, don’t let the enemy steal your joy in the pauses and pain of delays and detours. Ask the Lord what he wants to teach you about his character in the now because tomorrow will come and then next week and even next year. The baby in your arms will be gone and your control lost. You can’t do a thing about the outcome, but you can do something beautiful with the present.

The richness and revelation found in it is a treasure. Dig deep and find him. Don’t rush into tomorrow because its just full of more waiting.

Don’t waste your wait.


  1. Sam | 13th Jul 15

    Oh Kristy, your timing couldn’t be more perfect. We’ve been licensed since June 17th. We haven’t received the first placement phone call. Not one. A friend from church knows of two little girls, siblings, who are in separate foster homes and need to be placed together. It sounds like a perfect match. But Partnership really seems to be in no hurry. I had a wonderful God moment in Sunday School yesterday… I realized that He has a plan for our family. No matter what MY plan is, his is perfect. But the waiting…

  2. Jeannine | 13th Jul 15

    WOW, I so needed to read this today! The following paragraph totally reached out & grabbed me:

    “My sweet foster mama friend, don’t let the enemy steal your joy in this mess. Ask the Lord what he wants to teach you about his character in the now. Because tomorrow will come and then next week and even next year. The baby in your arms will be gone and your control lost. You can’t do a thing about the outcome, but you can do something beautiful with the moment you are breathing in.”

    We are new foster parents, received the girl we have now at the beginning of May. We knew it would be a fairly short placement, and today is the hearing that I’m hoping will allow her to move in with her grandparents. It’s been so hard dealing with the unknown, not having control – and not letting the enemy steal my joy. Even though we went into this not wanting to adopt, the emotions of caring & loving a child I know is not mine & won’t stay have been kind of hard to figure out!

    Thank you for sharing your experience through your blog, it brings me a lot of comfort!!

  3. Jennifer | 13th Jul 15

    Thank you…we are 10.5 months into a placement of 3 siblings…and the waiting on permanency is painful. It’s hard to watch what the system allows, and yet your reminder that God is right here with us was so timely for my hurting/angry heart today. Thank you for writing these words.

  4. Stacy | 13th Jul 15

    Seriously, how did you know to write this for me? We learned today that the adoption that should have been final in June will not happen until September. The waiting physically makes me sick. Fear sets in and I worry what if something happens to alter the adoption (very unlikley) but what if…
    while I was reading the post my little guy walked near me. I took your words to heart and smothered him with kisses while he giggled. Perfect medicine for the wait.
    Thank you.

  5. Debbie | 18th Jul 15

    Wow! Perfect words just when I needed to hear them! We were waiting for the court date that would move things closer to adoption; however, we have received the news that the 7 mth old we’ve had since 4 days old will soon leave our home to live with a relative that suddenly appeared.

    So now I wait for the phone call that will take this sweet baby from us. Together we wait to see how God speaks to our hearts to make sense of all that’s happened the past 3 months. We WAIT knowing all is about to change, praying for miracles for our little guy, & trying to stay “present” each moment to love big & store-up joy-filled memories of a child who forever will be the son of our hearts.

  6. Karen Roy | 16th Sep 15

    The timing in this could not be any better for me. I find myself waiting on the next step constantly and have to remind myself not to get caught up in the wait time but to just let go. A foster friend told me recently that I have to surrender the situation to God and let Him work. So true. Stop waiting, stop worrying and just love em the best you can each day.

    I find great comfort in your blogs. Thank you!

    • Kristy | 21st Sep 15

      so glad you were encouraged in your journey, Karen! thanks so much for sharing a little piece of your walk and I’m praying for you today!!

  7. Denise Lowe | 18th Mar 16

    “First, I waited for God to move on my husband’s heart. That’s enough to kill a woman.”

    Thank you for sharing. My husband is hesitantly open to this crazy fostering dream that has been placed on my heart. For now I will take that gladly. He has not said no – that is beautiful and huge!

    I came across your blog today and have been binge reading – thank you for sharing your heart! God is moving through your words!

    • Kristy | 19th Mar 16

      Denise. I’m praying for you and thankful you are finding hope and encouragement here.

  8. Shelly Roberts | 16th Sep 16

    I don’t think I’ve ever put this together before …. but I think right now … what I’m waiting on … is myself. Doggone it that’s painful to realize. Waiting on myself to fully embrace where God has placed me. Waiting on myself to continue to surrender to Him. Waiting on my stomach to stop churning in knots when my fear kicks in. Waiting for my heart to grab tighter hold of TRUST. Our good, Faithful Father is trustworthy. I really don’t want my wait to be wasted. Grateful for your prayers, sister.

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