This last one came on Sunday-Mother’s Day night, because God is funny. My babe ended up leaving her appendix behind at the hospital this time and I’m so tired I could sleep for a week.
In the quiet (read: alarming + beeping + constant interruptions) of hospital life, I was recalling all of the kiddos I’ve been with over the years in that old building. Some I birthed, many I didn’t. But I stayed by their side all the same. I slept on something they call a bed (but it’s really just a piece of plywood and plastic). My back has ached from funny positions of holding sick babies or bending over at the bedside for middle of the night breathing treatments.
The yes to foster care has come with hundreds of hardships. It has asked me to leave my other children at home in the capabale hands of others while I stood vigilant over the one. It has taken from me so many moments with the people I love.
But I didn’t turn away when life got scary or hard or hellish. I turned in. And in that turning, I have been handed redemption-redemption of time, relationships and ministry. And so much more I’m certain I have yet to see.
I have walked this road in so many wrong ways. But one way I’ve chosen over and over and over is to simply surrender it all every single day. Because God allows us to be tested in the gift of the hard. He sees every single moment and it’s sifted thru his hand before it ever touches yours.
And he’s also preparing you because his plan has a purpose.
I was an ER nurse for years. I loved what I did. Then God led me away from that job and into the places I am now. But for years I have begged God to allow me to return to the bedside.
This weekend, I tallied up that number, 21.
Twenty-one times I’ve walked back thru the doors of a place I worked and loved. And 21 times he’s invited me to the bedside of a child in need.
He is the AUTHOR and PERFECTOR of our faith, dear friends. He cares about you. He sees your sacrifices. He purposes your passions. And he is present in the pain. Now trust him to write the most incredible story of his goodness thru the gifts of hard things as you reveal to the world the faithfulness of his hand.
And accept the invitation that only he can extend.