My Fierce Love is Free for All of My Kids


Last week, you asked about my kids.

You questioned how they were processing and coping and adjusting in our ever-evolving lifestyle. Babies are frequently coming or going or coming AND going. Our home is a habitual hustle and our lives are run by the rhythm of court dates and case workers.

We are invariably inconvenienced by the poor life choices of others.

And we like it that way.

We chose this.

And we choose this.

You’re worried about my kids. I get that. Their well-being isn’t far from my every thought either, so I appreciate the kind concern. You want me to focus on them and you’re cringing because you perceive my care for foster kids as neglecting my own precious people.

There’s this notion forced upon my family that says I’m not loving them enough.

Hear me, clearly. My undying devotion to one child doesn’t diminish my unconditional love for another.

I’m not choosing between the babies I birthed and the others I hold for mere moments. I’m not sorting through my children…I’m selecting them all.

I’m available at every monumental occasion and major milestone for my foster kiddos-doctor’s appointments, court appearances, visitations, vaccinations, reunifications and transitions. But I’m also the persistent presence for each fleeting fragment of everyday events.

From afar, I can see how my family’s dynamic is misunderstood.

The weight of another mama’s baby demands more than I can give. My hands are full but there’s somehow always room for more. There’s juggling involved but my bios aren’t watching from the sidelines, unsure of their spot. They have a secure place too, only it looks so unlike their suburban sidekicks’.

Please don’t question why I’m laying my life down for a kid I didn’t birth and probably won’t shelter for long. For now, he belongs to me, so I call him mine. And my fidelity won’t be found fading in the hardest days to come. 

My care for kids from pathetic predicaments doesn’t come with qualifications. The moment they cross my threshold, I promise to provide whatever they need. Whether its my touch or my time, it’s theirs for the taking.

I’m either choosing them, or I’m not.

I’m their mom for a moment, or I’m not.

I’m ALL in.

They belong to me today…and in some ways, forever.

And while this calling brings discomfort and change and challenge, it doesn’t lessen my love for my people. 

My love isn’t rationed. Its multiplied and poured out by a Creator who just does that kind of thing. 

His love is free and so is mine.

The commitment comes with a price but my fierce foster mama love is always free.



  1. Lindsay Reese | 3rd Dec 15

    I love you sweet, precious friend!

  2. Ashley | 3rd Dec 15

    the best!

  3. Jessica | 5th Dec 15

    Thank you for your beautiful words that always capture my exact thoughts and feeling about this thing we call foster care. You do it so much better than me.

  4. Jean Nollette | 4th Dec 18

    This so very true! You explain it so well! I’ve been giving free love for 30 yrs and I still have trouble telling people that are not in our foster parent group WHY I willingly do what I fo!

  5. Tiffany Reddick | 5th Dec 18

    This is wonderful! My adult children have in fact told me “Thank you, Mom, for choosing to be a foster mom. It has taught me and shown me how to love like Jesus!” 💕

  6. Diane Lyon | 19th Apr 19

    I’m wondering if I could share this article with our foster agencies here in Indianapolis? Our church has a foster/adoption ministry and believe this would be such a blessing!

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