Medication is okay.

If you hear nothing else from me in these written words, take the aforementioned three.

I’m a nurse and I’ve always been happy to help everyone else feel better with meds but it’s been hard to accept the handout for me. Sure I’ll take Motrin for my migraines but for mental health, I’m a tough it out kinda girl. Where my enneagram 8 compadres?

Twelve years ago, I had post partum thyroiditis and it was an insane year of anxiety and depression and cardiac involvement. I used meds then and it almost broke me. It wasn’t the right fit for my body. It made things worse. I didn’t have the support and oversight from my physician that I should have at age 27. It scared me from ever trying something for mental health again.

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But this month, I took the advice and suggestions of some very trusted mental health professionals and my very own doctor and filled a prescription to help my generalized anxiety.

Confession: I’m confident that I’m a vulnerable and honest human but I’ve become keenly aware that I’m carefully controlling the sideshows I allow you to see.

To let you know I’m falling apart and crumbling under the life I’ve chosen to say yes to feels so very frightening.

But you need to know that my yes brought with it a bus full of trauma and spiritual warfare and damage I never saw coming.

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But I’m still breathing and there is purpose in my pain.

If you need to reach out for help, do it.

So many of you are advocating for little people and simply pushing thru your own issues.

STOP ?

Foster care can wreck you. It can shred what you thought was a pretty packaged life. There is so much significance in that wreckage but sometimes we need something else in the season of hard so we actually survive to see the beauty pieced together from the ashes we leave behind.