The Danger of Waiting Until Your Kids Grow Up

I find myself daydreaming about tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow. I can feel the weight lift as I imagine a day without dirty diapers to change. 

My oldest was born in 2006.

It’s 2018.

Y’all!!! Twelve ruthless years of wiping little booties on the ground. My hands are crippled.

And the legos piercing the soles of my feet. Have you stepped on one of those lately? The pain. Nothing compares. Can they just play with stuffed animals or bouncy balls?

I’m straight up exhausted from bedtime battles with toddlers. Every night my kids forget that they actually have to go to sleep. Amnesia for real. And the dishes and the paper piles and the cooking and laundry. 

It’s all enough to break this mama.
So it seems appropriate (read: comfortable) that advice givers encourage us to “wait until your kids are older” to do this type of ministry. I hear them telling me to take time for my own kids because they’re only little for a short time.

And most days I wonder, is the ‘American Dream’ stealing the dreams of Jesus from our grips?


I think about the personalities that are developing in front of me and life journeys of my little people. I pray they will be lovers of the Truth and fight madly for the Kingdom. I am thankful that in spite of my yelling and nagging and failures that the Lord can still raise them up to know and love and serve him.

If you want your kids to live like they love the Lord when they are grown, you have to submerse them in his work now.

 Kids are leaving the church by the thousands as they become adults. Frankly, that freaks me out. I want my kids to BE the church. I want their hearts to break for the broken. I want their dreams to be big and risky and life giving to a world that is desperate for Jesus but just doesn’t know it yet.

People often ask how my kids cope with the constant change and chaos of our life. We shed tears. My kids regress with the loss of a baby. They have problems sleeping, they get sad, and they wonder who’s coming next. 

But it’s their normal

They don’t know a different life. They only know how to grasp for peace when its rocky. They know how to let God’s Word give them life and comfort. They know how to pray over a baby and his mama. They want lives to be healed and relationships whole because they’ve seen the heartache of the abused and abandoned firsthand.

They’re little and the beauty of children is they can get the Gospel with so much more ease than grow ups. They can see it without the blur of baggage that comes with age. 

And that is why waiting until your kids grow up to do what God has called you to do now is killing the church. Your diluted faith is distorting the image of their Creator. 


When your kids grow up, they’ll be grown. 

And grown means independent. 

It means making their own making decisions about what to do with their lives. 

We can raise them to run hard after Jesus. Or we can push them in the pursuit of a nice car and a good man and a solid education and a pretty house with lots of space for all their stuff.

They get it now if you let them live it now. 

Your audience is captive and eager to learn (even when they are whining and screaming and rolling their eyes). They are taking things literally. Their moldable concrete minds get things like loving the orphan and serving the widow. 

Where he said go, they willingly walk.

It’s not too late, mama. They’re still little.

And if they’re not, I bet they’re still watching. Actually, I know they are…because I am.


  1. Debbie | 15th May 15

    You open your heart and the truth of the message blesses your momma more than you know…my heart just fills up ….love!!!

  2. JJ | 21st Jun 15

    Truth be told, we simply must do each day what God calls us to do. 3 adult daughters down the road and 3 more kiddos I’m still raising, I’ve come to understand that no amount of “right raising” guarantees or commands “right choices” as our children become adults. Therefore, I have determined to take this life one breath of faith at a time. My experience thus far has shown me that the only thing we can give our children is an example of truly living by faith and not by sight. Then trust Him with the results. Period. ❤️ thank you for loving others and showing your kids what that looks like! #alwaysdoingourbestforHisglory #onlyHedeservesglory #HeisthePerfectParent

  3. Gwen | 4th Jul 15

    I love your blog. I am a foster/adoptive/bio momma in Canada and can relate to pretty much everything you say. Blessings to you!

  4. Denise Lowe | 18th Mar 16

    YES! YES! YES!

  5. Gina Gentile | 5th Mar 18

    I needed to read this. I have three foster children, and may be getting a 4th and I also have a 6 yr old bio son I had been getting sad, thinking I should have waited until my little boy was older. I’ve been fostering since he was 3 and it seems like the years flew by, and I almost feel like I missed some of it, because I’ve been so busy as a foster parent. People I mention this to, agree with me. 🙁 Seeing your blog, gives me a positive way to look at this. My son is learning valuable characteristics of love and compassion. I’ll be adopting two of the children I have this year, and I hope to adopt the 3rd one and possibly his sibling next. Thank you for your blog.

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